Pick Your Potion…Who’s Asking?

“Captain Picard was into Earl Grey tea; mention the Dude and we think: White Russians. What’s your signature beverage — and how did it achieve that status?”

Oconnellls PubMy signature drink? Well, I suppose that depends on who you ask.

Thanks to The Daily Post for keeping my fingers nimble this morning before I dive into starting into the cold, cold waters of a blank page.

It’s nothing out of the ordinary. You take great care in presenting yourself in a certain way, unaware that no matter how hard you try and be that person you want to be, you will always be somebody completely different to someone else. Let me see if I can clarify…

Show of hands: Who has spent any length of time “People Watching”? A sport engaged solo or in a group of peers, usually practiced over any assortment of beverages, where you sit and watch the people pass by your field of vision and make up a back-story for each one. I myself have been a practitioner for many years and it’s more than partially responsible for leading me down the road of writing. You sit back and watch people and make up a story in which they are the main character. Great fun, but I’ve never noticed.

…how must I look to other people? Who would I be?

 

To The Barista Making My Double EspressoCoffee cup

It could go either way. I could be…

The Guy Who Knows What He Wants

The guy that doesn’t have time to mess around with multi-syllabic descriptions for a type of coffee “What the hell is a double-half-cap-flibbidy-wibbidy-knickleback…nick-nack-paddywhack…whatever, just give me a damn coffee and make it strong.” The guy who doesn’t have the energy to get into what he prefers because he has deadlines and schedules to keep and needs this little boost to get him there. A no-nonsense guy. Or…

The Guy Who Doesn’t

Whatever, dude. I just spent an entire month memorizing the entire menu and all of it’s options, and all you want is something you can make yourself at home. You’re the fifth waste-of-time I encountered today. Oh, you want to pay with the app you downloaded? Well, look who’s up on the new tech! Good for you, I’ll still get your name wrong…NEXT!” At least, that’s what I hear in my head whenever he asks me if I want this for here or to go.

 

To The Bartender Pouring Another Glenlivet On The RocksDrinks

Again, depending on the situation; who’s tending today (sorry…I meant tonight…I never drink in the daytime…pinkie-swear). What type of place is it? A Dive? A Sports Bar? Pub? Speakeasy? Is the bar crowded? Who am I with? Is there a game on TV at the bar? IS there a TV at the bar? A lot of factors go into this, because there are times when you want a DRINK and there are times where you just can’t be bothered, so you just get what everyone else is getting. “I’d rather smash my face repeatedly with a glass ashtray than to drink a Coors, but yeah, sure, I’ll take one.”

Anyway, I could be…

A Man of  Taste

Wow, here’s a guy who knows what he wants! I bet he gets a double espresso every time he goes to that over-priced coffee franchise down the street! He’s the only guy in here that orders this. Everybody else only gets long necks. Wow, he’s so interesting and mature. I might just have to sleep with him…” Hey, it’s not far-fetched. It could happen. So what if the bartender’s a dude? Or, I could be…

A Noob

Wow, look at Mr. Sophisticated ordering the only thing we don’t have. Whadidja, lose a bet? The only people that order this are old dudes and twentysomethings who want to look like old dudes. Just get a long neck, order some chicken wings and switch it over to the Eagles game. Sheesh!” This is what I think goes through their head every time I order one and it’s a little on the shallow in the glass. “Dude, pour me two fingers at LEAST! I know you’re going to soak me on this because you can, but could you at least make it worth it? Are you using an eye-dropper? What’s the deal? Turn over the damn TV yourself!”

 

To The Waitress At The Local Diner Pouring a RefillAmerican Diner

This one’s a little trickier. I love diners. I love the grease-filled ambiance, and the promise of shoving something starchy in my face to start my day off right. I love the waitresses and how they always call you, “hun”. I think with them it could either be…

Mr. Tightwad Stingeypants

“Boy, I sure hope he doesn’t stiff me on the tip.” Or…

Mr. Gropey McRapeykins

“Boy, I sure hope he doesn’t grab my ass.”

 

To My Bottle of Johnnie Walker Red Sitting Atop My Refrigeratorred

Well, that’s easy…

Friend and Confidant

“Come on over, put your feet up and tell me about your day.”

 

Not sure if I answered The Daily Post’s question correctly, but just what actually is my signature beverage?

I guess it depends on who’s pouring.

What do you consider your signature beverage?

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