So, this is what I’ve been working on when the words aren’t coming…
Over the course of a few months, I have been slowly, piece by piece, building an online store. Yup. Pretty soon, I will be hanging out a shingle, and I will be selling wares that I have crafted. I know, I know… one or two of you out there are saying to yourself, “Heeeeyyyy… he said he was doing this a couple of years ago.” And, you would be right! Back in 2011, I publicly proclaimed, rather spontaneously, that I would be setting up shop and everything in my life would be all honky-dory. “I finally have control of my own destiny,” I would say to myself. “I have ideas and ambition and everything from here on in will be challenging and awesome!” Of course, that was back in the days when I had all the drive in the world and no idea what I was doing. Kinda like now.
Back then, I was using MS Paint along with the tools provided to me by Cafe Press. Back then, Cafe Press’ idea of providing would-be content creators and artists the tools to successfully build an independent business, let alone to make a halfway interesting t-shirt, were pretty rudimentary; at best, they were clunky. At worst, they were a joke. Back then, I had one idea for one design, and it was pretty lame. Back then, I had nothing going for me.
Over the course of a year, I have been absorbing all I can about what I can. I’ve fallen victim to this way of thinking before. Its a feeling that’s driven by fear and hunger. It’s survival. I’ve gone to school learn how to do a job that will facilitate the earning of a living wage. Try as I might, it didn’t work out that way, and I spent years in debt as a reminder of it. These days, I’m pretty much agnostic when someone says, “Hey, why don’t you go back to school? They’re always looking for suchnsuch in whatchamacallit field…” I know they are, that’s why I went back to school; It was this carrot on the stick that got me to fall for it the last time. I used to think that if I wanted something that was out of reach, I’d go to school and immediately jump into the work force upon attaining a degree. Y’know, like our fathers did. I can get all the training I can at becoming-let’s say-a nurse, study and work hard, complete my training when I turn 50, eventually find a job, and get forced into retirement while I’m still buried under so much debt that my grandchildren will be paying for it long after I’m gone.
As it turns out, that old paradigm that worked so well for our fathers and their fathers doesn’t really work in this Era of Convenience. “I’m doing this for the money” and “I have a degree” are no longer the raison d’être for doing anything. A random online voice recently reminded me:
“If you’re working really hard at something and you’re only doing it for the money, you’ve already failed.”
|this is for sale too…|
That line has been a driving force in my life for the past few months. I can’t help but think that it’s an updated version of the famous Coolidge quote that’s plastered on so many college dorm room walls and franchise gymnasiums. I also can’t help but think of how much time and money I’ve wasted in my life convincing myself that the path I chose for myself a long time ago was wrong and I should have traveled down the road everyone else was just because it was more lucrative and/or more socially acceptable. What I’m trying to say is that I have persisted, I kept moving forward to the best of my ability. I have done all the things that have been expected of me, and now I’m tired of waiting for things to get better and I’m not ready to roll over just yet…
…but I digress… I’m tired of screaming at the rain…
Anyway, new store, new name, new logo, new designs being added regularly, new page being added soon.
Step 3b: Keep flapping.
Munjoy Hill seen from the Portland Observatory by Christian Milneil.